Answers

Back in the early 90's when I was a kid I was on a Garth Brookes kick for awhile. I'm not really a country girl but for some reason I just liked his music. There is one of his songs that always bothered me alittle though. The first part of the coarse goes ....sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers. I guess it bothers me because I don't believe there is such a thing as a unanswered prayer. I believe all my prayers are heard and answered! Sometimes not how we would like them to be or in the time frame we want then to be answered in but they are answered. I don't think its any big secret that I have been frustrated at times with some of the circumstances life has given us the last few years but aside from those I started to feel some changes in my body right about the time Landon was 6 months old(2 years ago). I told myself it was stress and had to deal with it the best I could. Sean was finishing school we had been living with his parents a lot longer then we had planned and I was stressed. He graduated in the middle of a recession and the job hunt was bleak I became pregnant again, still living with in-laws, began to feel worst and again I told myself I was just stressed. Everyday I got down on my knees and just asked my Father in Heaven to give me strength and get me through my challenges on day at a time. I ALWAYS felt comfort, I ALWAYS knew I wasn't alone and that he was aware of my needs. I just tried to do the best I could and lose myself in my children. As even my more time went by I still plugged along the best I could but I was just getting even sicker. I knew deep down something was wrong. I could no longer sleep at all. I was always cold all the time, I couldn't concentrate, I had headaches a lot, my muscles and joints hurt all over my body, I was gaining weight with no change to my routine or diet(which mostly consist of Arby's roast beef sandwich's), my feet were so swollen it hurt to walk, my eyes and face were always puffy, little daily task like going to the store literally wiped me out for the day, my neck was so swollen that it was painful to eat or swallow, my voice sounded horse all the time. Worst of all it was getting really hard to care for my 3 babies. My arms hurt so badly after holding Halle, I couldn't get down and play on the floor with my boys. Cutting hair for neighbors and family(something I love and enjoy so much) left me hands and arms numb. I had my regular yearly exam with my O.B. and Sean had a training with his new job and couldn't watch the kids so I just canceled the appointment. A week went by I was having a lot of cramping in my abdomine so I decided I better go. I saw the P.A. because I couldn't get in with my Dr. I didn't really care, she had come in to some of my appointments while I was pregnant and I liked her. I walked it the Dr.'s office and she said " you look really different when your not pregnant" but the way she said it was almost like she thought I looked worse. She kept looking at my face and eyes while we talked. I told her about the cramping and my neck feeling swollen and nothing else. She looked at my skin and asked if I was always so dry and had large cracks in my hands and feet. She checked my reflexes and acted like maybe they were slow. I could tell by the look on the nurses face that this was not routine. She felt my neck for a really long time then said they were going to draw some blood. I'm thinking to myself the whole time ......this is the weirdest pap smear I have ever had. I left and didn't think to much about it. The next morning she called me first thing and asked if I had a few minuets to talk. She said she had Dr. Spencer(my regular Dr.) looked over your blood test, and they thought I had a thyroid disease called Hashimoto's(hypothyroidism). She told me a normal number of antibodies in a person is 30, mine was over 1000. Basically my thyroid hasn't been producing and is slowing down several of my bodies other systems. Then she said "Dr. Spencer wants to know how on earth you have been caring for a new born? He said you shouldn't even be able to get out of bed in the morning. You are a very sick girl." Tears began to run down my cheeks...finally answers. I felt RELIEF. This was not the answer I expected but it was MY answer. I know the lord heard and answered my prayers. I am SO grateful for my kids...they literally have been my angels there is no way I could have done this as long as I have if it wasn't for them. Also Sean, who has been very patient with me through all my wineing, my amazing parents, my 3 sisters, a few great neighbors and a few good friends(one in particular):). They couldn't feel any lumps on my thyroid so for know they are treating it with medication I will be taking for the rest of my life. It is very treatable. I still don't understand it totally but I know it could have been something more serious. I am hopeful that the medicine will work, I have FAITH that it will. I KNOW my prayers and the prayers of others in my behalf were and will continue to be answered. I think the hardest part is that my brain is telling me to do things that my body just won't let me do. I know there will be some frustration still but at least I know now and can take it one day at a time.